Why don't I just give up? Why is it so difficult to get rid of hurt? These last few months, especially November have been quite tough and there's not really anyone trustworthy or reliable in my corner anymore. Well, maybe one who doesn't realize it. But no... I gotta stand tall and strong all alone nowadays and watching the world dance away without you is quite heartbreaking. By the way that metaphor it based off of something real. And I don't think people understand how hard it is to just stand strong. Six plus months is quite a long time to force a smile and hold back tears. I think everyone's gonna be surprised what happens come May 20th if things don't change. Which they won't which is my fault because I don't want to be yelled at and burn the bridges when I can still walk on them. Although I'd kill to be able to fall apart at the drop of a hat like so many others. Two of my best friends are like gone in my eyes. Other close friends are getting sick of me. I think he knows who he is. Come January the list will probably get longer since I'm about to begin this spree of personal changes. And there's many unspoken problems that are gonna stay with me so long as there is air in my lungs. I just think about it, though, and it's like... what's becoming of the world? I think this phrase sums up how I feel right now" to quote part of a song, "I still hope you will miss me when I'm gone."